The Good Wife's Guide
From Housekeeping Monthly, 13 May, 1955.
- Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal ready on time for his return. This is a way of letting him know that you have be thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they get home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.
- Prepare yourself. Take 15 minutes to rest so you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your make-up, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh-looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people.
- Be a little gay and a little more interesting for him. His boring day may need a lift and one of your duties is to provide it.
- Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives. Run a dustcloth over the tables.
- During the cooler months of the year you should prepare and light a fire for him to unwind by. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift too. After all, catering to his comfort will provide you with immense personal satisfaction.
- Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer or vacuum. Encourage the children to be quiet.
- Be happy to see him.
- Greet him with a warm smile and show sincerity in your desire to please him.
- Listen to him. You may have a dozen important things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first - remember, his topics of conversation are more important than yours.
- Don't greet him with complaints and problems.
- Don't complain if he's late for dinner or even if he stays out all night. Count this as minor compared to what he might have gone through at work.
- Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or lie him down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him.
- Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes. Speak in a low, soothing and pleasant voice.
- Don't ask him questions about his actions or question his judgment or integrity. Remember, he is the master of the house and as such will always exercise his will with fairness and truthfulness. You have no right to question him.
- A good wife always knows her place.
Now Lets Address The Above Suggestions. In No Particular Order. Because I can.
Ok, so the don't complain if he is late to dinner or stays out all night is ridiculous. Respect works both ways. If I cook, then he better have hus butt at the table when I serve it. (Within reason, if he has to work late that is another story). The letting him lie down is a little over the top also, unless of course your husband is in a physically demading trade. I know that when my husband comes home from the Army sometimes he has to lie down straight away, or at the least flop on the couch. This is fine, I just sit with him and we talk.
Now, as for the questioning his integrity and judgement. I honestly don't think that I should be doing that ever. If you are in a good marriage than you should trust your husbands judgement and know his cast integrity. NOTE that I say IF you are in a GOOD marriage. If you are with a man who is not the god fearing man you deserve, you may have to reconsider the not questioning his judgement part. Remember while as wives we look to our husbands, our husbands should inturn look to christ. If your husband isn't including christ in your marriage then you could be in trouble.
I'm sorry, I am not making a fire for him. In the garden of Eden I am sure it was Adam who was in charge of the fire lighting; besides my husband is a pyromaniac of sorts, he would prefer to light it himself I dare say.
Have an interesting story for him..... Come On! If you are a Mom this shouldn't be hard. Just think of the material you have. "darling today Susie managed to put my gardening hat in the S Bend of the Toilet, You'll need to remove that for me when you are done with your recooperating."
I don't always prep dinner, infact if it wasn't for the microwave I think that we would live off of Pappa Murphy $5 specials. Having said that I think it is important to put on at least 2 good spreads a week. Butter Bread and set the table nicely, make eating together a pleasure rather than just another part of going through the motions.
Make yourself look nice, this is something I do regularlly. I like to dress well. I like how it makes me feel and I like what it says to society about myself. For women, the way we dress ourselves can have a powerful affect over how people percieve us. This is not nessicarily right, however it is the way the world works. Having said this, there are days where my husband will get home and I will be in my gym sweats or have failed to have change out of my PJ's (Saturdays are really good for this.)
The Cleaning up everything and de-cluttering 15 minutes before he gets home is something I think all mothers do. We can spend 6 hrs of the day procrastinating and in the last 20 minutes before your husband is due through the door we manage to get most of the days chores done. I once admitted to doing this. My very clever husband smiled and said "You do 15 mins work and pretend that your worked all day, and I come home and pretend that I believe you!" Oh Bless his heart!
I don't like bringing up problems as soon as I see my beloved. I miss him all day and I want to enjoy the first hour with him. This gives him time to relax and unwind and I enjoy spending this down time with him.
So how does it work in your home? Is the above exert absurd, or a little closer to home? I would love to hear from other Modern Mormon Mommies about how you run things in your house. In the meantime I have a date planned, on the couch, with my husband.